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REVIEW: Edward Cumminghands

Wanna play rock, paper, scissors?

Oh, this brings back memories. Edward the Scissorhands was the first movie that made me cry. I was 5 years old back then and still remember how moved and emotionally destroyed I was when the movie was over. Well, let’s hope that after watching this my dick will be equally destroyed.

First, one important note. Don’t expect this to be a remake of a movie, it’s merely inspired by the poetics of Tim Burton’s masterpiece, but that’s more than enough for the purpose of a porn remake. Also, do not expect anything hardcore, when it come to sex, this is pretty much vanilla stuff. (Thanks Heaven, I don’t like mixing sharp scissors and kinks.) 

I hope I can glue it back on…

Edward has changed sexes and now is a rather hot girl with extremely messy hair. And scissors instead of her hands, of course. Edgy. The costume, the set, the etheric music, it all works perfectly. Even the punny subtitles in the beginning add to the atmosphere and the entire clip is a pleasure to watch.

No running with scissors!

It’s a good video and solid craftsmanship, I’d say. The only thing I missed here was more of the background and ideally at least a hint of a story. On the other (scissor)hand, acting done by porn stars often comes out as a parody, so it’s probably good there is none. Anyway, this was a nice way to remember my childhood and beat my meat at the same time. Lovely!